living with a disablity

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Sitting in the class room I began pondering on where was I going to meet a disabled person who wasn’t related to me and how was I going to find the courage to invade their life with a bunch of personal questions. Their was a lady I heard my mother mentioning a couple of times I asked her to put us in contact. My mother gave me her phone number and that is how it all began. I knew with this assignment there was a lot for me to learn but I really was not prepared for all the valuable insights this woman shared with me. I made the first phone call and a soft-spoken women answered the phone after a brief introduction we began the interview. The lady on the other end was Ms. King a thirty -six year old African-American woman who lost her vision at the age of twenty due to complications related to her diabetes. Ms. King lives alone in one bedroom apartment. She is in the process of taking college courses over the Internet. Ms. King is also the mother of a sixteen-year-old teenager who lived with her grandmother all her life and is an active member in her church. After, our 45 minutes conversation on the phone I wondered how is it that a blind person can be so talkative humorous and really sound content with life. Within seconds I felt silly to think that way when neither is a correlation of the other. I thought there was more and prehaps she was hiding behind the phone and that she wasn’t as content with life, so we made plans to meet at her home during the week.


Through out the course of the two interviews my mind kept going back to Bill Porter from Door to Door. I kept trying to figure out what makes a person so accepting of anything that comes their way. Ms. King answered that question by stating, “I am comfortable with how the Lord daily shakes and mold my journey. At that point I thought of myself how I find discontentment in everything and here is this woman who once had the ability to see all the things I take for granted yet she is content. In fact the day of the interview I had to go to court for a traffic violation and pay an obscene amount of money. I thought about canceling the meeting with Ms. King because from my felt I have just had one of the worst days of my life. One of the things Ms. King expressed was that she had just began driving during the time she lost her sight. She admitted to at times wishing she could jump in a car to go buy her own groceries. Unfortunately, she states her driving privileges were taken from her without choice. When the interview was over hearing about all her trails and tribulation, I thought hasn’t the days of her life been worse than my days?


Before I even met Ms. King one of the questions that was lingering in my mind was how does she live without experiencing a romantic relationship in her life? Although I wasn’t sure how I was going to ask her something so personal, I really wanted to know. Luckily, Ms. King bought up the topic as we discussed her relationship with her daughter. Ms. King saw her daughter as a remarkable, and inspirational person because she accepts her as her mother. I wondered would I ever have the ability to allow myself to receive inspiration from a child. During this topic, I took it as my chance to ask, “Do you date?” She started to laugh saying, point me in the direction of a good man and I’m there.” I wondered why doesn’t she feel sorry for herself? Why isn’t she upset that she will never see the young lady that her daughter is growing into? Why isn’t she dwelling on the fact that she more than likely will not get married? She will not have any more children and mainly experience romantic love. I thought something wasn’t right here these are things most women strive for she’ll never have them and she is fine with that. It is oblivious because she found a form of peace and contentment within herself; which is actually what most women should be striving for. What good does it serves us to dwell on negative things. I shamefully thought about the countless hours I’ve spent dwelling on not having a partner in my life. I thought about how I would think of my older single girlfriends and feared being single at their age. Now I’m staring to evaluate myself and I wonder why am I so preoccupied with things I have no control over. Could it be that I can only truly accept life itself, by accepting the events in my life?


By the end of the interview I was really starting to be filled with a lot of guilt. I was starting to feel more embarrassed over all the tedious things I fuss over in life. On the other hand how could a blind person not have any discontentment for life? How could she not feel sorry for herself? When Ms. King stated that being blind has enabled her to inspire others in their lives, the level of her sensitivity amazed me. I thought what is it that allows this woman to strive and have such a positive out look on life despite the fact that life has dealt her a tough hand? It appears that acceptance of one’s circumstances is the key. Sometimes a tornado sweeps into our lives without cause or warning. While we can’t prevent it, we can live through it. Ms. King expressed that her faith, family, and friends got her to where she is and that they are her inspiration. I was still trying to understand why wouldn’t a relationship be an inspiration? I actually knew the answer it serves no purpose dwelling on the things you can’t or don’t have.





As I walked to my car from Ms. King’s house I found my self-looking at my surround’s which felt like I was seeing them for the first time. I unconsciously looked at the bird that flew over my head not annoyed that it flew extremely too close to my head. My mind kept going back to how does one live without sight? I obsessively pondered on the thought of what if I lost my vision. Would I have the remarkable strength to live a gracious dignified life or would I wallow in my sorrows. After, evaluating all my notes from the interview it became clear to me that in that tiny neat apartment live a soft spoken women with a story of compassion, love, understanding, and acceptance to tell. How could a blind person who can’t see the world we live in have better perception of it than me? As I conducted my interviews with Ms. King more and more questions raised in my head and I’m still pondering on them. I’m constantly imagining myself in her situation. I’m constantly wondering how come she is in this situation. Maybe Ms. King was right God allowed her to go blind because he knew she could handle it and clearly she has embraced her disability without any anger or guilt; and that in it self is a life lesson for all.





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