GO ASK AlICE- Changes in Alice's character

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Essay Discuss the major changes in Alice’s character and relationships over the first year of her life.


The diary of Alice’s life begins, as a she turn fifteen, when we first meet her she is a typical teenager from a middle class family. She has her insecurities and typical teenage problems, but she is a good kid and does reasonably well at school. Everything soon goes downhill, with moving house, Alice getting mixed up in the wrong crowd and getting into drugs. Alice then becomes two people, the Alice who drinks, smokes, does drugs and sleeps around, and the Alice who is the innocent daughter of a loving family. It becomes a battle between Alice the pessimist and Alice the optimist.


When we first meet Alice, she is happy with her life, “ I remember thinking I was the happiest person in the whole earth, the grass had never smelt grassier, and the sky had never seemed so high”. Alice was high on life, she had Roger and life was as it was meant to be. But it all soon changed when Roger, who she believed was her one true love, stands her up. “Now the world is cold and gray and unfeeling”. Here we see Alice with a typical teenage problem, boys, but Alice gets deeply depressed and is convinced that her life has no more meaning.


Alice’s life changes once again, when they move. Alice has mixed feelings about the move. In one hand it’s a chance to start over, new friends, new life, new Alice. And on the other hand there is leaving Gran and Gramps, the house, friends and most of all not being able to fit into the new town. “Oh dear god please help me adjust, help me be accepted, help me belong, don’t let me be a social outcast”. The new town, house and school bring the worst for Alice. “It as was miserable! It was the loneliest, coldest place in the world”. In the new town Alice can’t make friends and can’t fit in. Alice hates everything, she is depressed, puts on weight, and her mother is always on her back, nagging.


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Alice is drifting away from her family, and she can’t communicate with her mother anymore. “It is as though we speak different languages now”, “I can’t talk to mum like I used to”. Alice is in a family, but totally alone, she doesn’t fit into the family. The only friend that Alice has is her dairy. Alice has become what she feared she would become, a social outcast. But there is a bit of hope, Alice finds a friend, “she is as cloddy and misfit ting as I am”.


Alice gets good news when her mother lets her go to Gran and Gramps’ house for the summer. When Alice is at their house, she meets Jill, a person she used to envy and want to be friends with when she lived there. Jill invited Alice to a party, Alice finally felt accepted and that she belonged, she was part of the popular group. People liked her for being her. This was the party that introduced Alice to drugs. It seemed innocent, slipping some into her drink, but for Alice this was the beginning of the end. “For whatever I was, I was wonderful, for the first time in my whole life that I could remember I was totally uninhabited”. The drugs turn Alice into the person she always wanted to be.


Alice can’t believe what she has done; its wrong and the normal Alice wouldn’t do it. “I’ve tried to convince myself that using LSD makes me a ‘dope addict’. Alice tries to convince herself that she can’t do drugs anymore, because she will turn into an addict. But she is so, so, so curious, and can’t wait to try pot. She is already planning to get some to try. ”It’s a completely new world I am exploring”. Alice tried drugs once and now can’t think about anything else. She thinks that she will try pot once then go home and forget the whole drug set-up.


Alice starts seeing Bill, who she met at the party and he introduces her to speed and torpedoes. Alice also looses her virginity with Bill, while under the influence of acid. At the time Alice thinks it is great, but it is not until after the whole incident she begins to worry. “I’m so horribly, nauseously mixed up and- what if I am pregnant?”. The good Alice comes back, as she wants to go home, get away from drugs and the group. She begins to worry about what her family and Roger will think of her. “I hate this rotten place and I hate Bill and that crowd”. Alice is beginning to realize what drugs do to people.


In the mist of all of this, Alice’ Gramps has a miniature heart attack. Alice decides to stay longer and help Gran. Roger is around and keeps trying to talk to Alice, but Alice is ashamed to talk to him after all that she has been doing lately. She is finding it hard to cope with life and the stress of everything, so she starts to take her Gramps’ sleeping pills. When she finally does go home she gets more pills from the doctor, she relies on them to get through every day.


Alice is drifting further away from her family. “They keep saying that I am a nice girl, but I am beginning to act like a hippie and they’re afraid the wrong people will be drawn to me”. Alice has changed from being the sweet innocent girl who did everything right, to a drug-addicted teen. She can’t cope with life and her parents not talking to her that she finds it easier to forget the problems exist.


Back at home Alice is not the same person she is confused, needs to talk and be listened to. Her parents are always harping about the way she looks and acts. The only person she has is roger, whom she is writing to. That is until she meets Chris. Chris understands Alice, but gets her back into the drug world. Alice gets a job, which means she has more money to spend on drugs. ”I have to take Dexies to stay high at school, and I have to take tranquilizers to bear up at home”.


Alice and Chris get close and talk a lot about family problems, and running away. They plan to go to San Francisco and start over, forget all the family problems, run away form their worries. “I finally smoked pot and it was even greater than I expected”. Chris fixed Alice up with a college friend of hers, who got Alice onto pot. Alice is so drug influenced that she believes that she really loves this guy. She doesn’t see that it is the drugs.


In the first year we meet Alice we see her transform from a teenager who’s only problems are being stood up by who she believes is her one true love, not getting on with her parents and not fitting in. To a totally different person, the drug addict, cool, doesn’t care about life Alice. Alice is experimenting with her identity and who she wants to be, by taking ‘excursions’ to the other side and back again. Alice is vulnerable and an easy target, which is why she gets herself into these situations. Over the year Alice becomes two different people, the Alice who is sweet and innocent, and the Alice who doesn’t care.





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